I realized recently that we’re always told that love is putting the needs of another above your own. Which is probably why a lot of people have trouble with the concept of love. Because as human beings, we inherently want to make sure our own needs are met. If we put the needs of another before our own, what’s to say we’ll get what we need as well?
But what we seem to miss, is that in a good partnership, a healthy relationship, you don’t have to worry about whether your needs will be met. Because your partner cares just as much about you as you do about them. You don’t have to worry about what you need, because they’re already looking out for you. Just like you’re making sure they have what they need.
Which is why I love this relationship. Why it feels like one that can last. Because I care what you need and you care what I need. And I never have to worry.
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
(Source: , via adamho)