My mom is listening to Pop punk and I don’t know what tO DoooOOOooo
"Makeup should enhance your natural beauty, not obscure it. Use subtle highlights to accent the ravenous hunger in your eyes and bring out the extraordinary size of your submandibular venom glands."
"Your daily positive affirmation: today I am thankful for being alive and blessed with rows upon rows of teeth that shear right through muscle and bone."
"Conceal your dark circles. Conceal your bright chevrons and your dusky stripes. The humans must not suspect what you are."
"New research shows that ideal femininity encompasses a lamia’s beauty, a cyclops’ strength, a hydra’s deadliness, a Fury’s heartlessness, a harpy’s swiftness, and a sphinx’s love of feasting on less intelligent creatures. Be a chimera that cannot be contained!"
"Aim to be described as "inexplicably eerie," "unsettlingly off," and "I’m not sure what she looks like, I could never keep my eyes on her face long enough to see.""
Story time with Rizzo:
I got a random text from a wrong number a couple of days ago, and it was this lady sending me pictures of cats and one of them was called Jadzia so I know she was into DS9, anyway, I told her she had nice cats and that my name is Rizzo and she just replied with “WTF”. I got a call 2 minutes later from Aunt Renee being like “How did you get my nephew’s phone number?” and I was all “beats the shit right outta me lady”, so I told her good luck with that one and we were very cordial and I was very high, so it was a fun time.
I’m also taking a functional assessment and aging class and my teacher references Betty White’s Off Their Rockers and I nearly spat chai all over the fuckin’ place.
I’m taking Human Anatomy and Physiology this quarter and I…just…really love bones guys, and now I’m gonna know all of them.